Monday, March 17, 2014

Hermana Miller: Week 22: "They're always after me Lucky Charms!!!" Happy St. Patty's, y'all.

3/17/2014

Highty-tighty-tighty! Top o' the mornin' to ya!

I sure everyone is feeling lucky today. I sure am. (How can you not when you've got the Lord on your side?!)

I am starting to learn a lot about success. The Lord is finally getting through that thick skull of mine, I think. It's been super hard for a while, working our little (or not so little, thanks to delicious Mexican food,) booties off, and not seeing any progress with our investigators, while other missionaries just seem to be stacking up baptisms by the dozens. It's super hard some days, because I desperately want to see a family be baptized. Not for me, not for numbers, but for THEM. So they can have an eternal family. So they can have true joy. So they can have peace in this ever-turbulent world. And still, nothing. It's so, so hard sometimes. But the Lord has opened my eyes and taught me what true success means, to Him, in His eyes and in His ways. Often, I have felt a lot like Alma, in his psalm in chapter 29. He says:

"O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!

Yea, I would declare unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption, that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth."

But also, like Alma, as I have been learning to be humble, patient, and trusting, I have come to realize that as long as I am doing what the Lord asks, that is success. I can't ask for anything more than what I have!

"But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me.

Now, seeing that I know these things, why should I desire more than to perform the work to which I have been called?"

I have seen so much success in my mission.  In the ways that I expected?  Not quite, but in the ways the Lord wants, and that's what counts. Here are a few of those successes from this week:

1.) The Lord prompted us through the Spirit this week to go visit an elderly member in the English ward, odd, right? Well we visited with him for a while, and his recent convert fiancĂ©e was there, but in the kitchen most of the time. At the end of the visit, I felt that I should go hug her and tell her I cared about her. She asked me to come back into a room with her, so I grabbed Hna P and we did. She started crying and told me (scarily calmly,) that she was done with life and church-she had Leukemia again and was having problems

with her fiancé. She was searching for her keys to take her car and commit suicide. I just grabbed her in a big hug and prayed to Heavenly Father, begged Him, to tell me what to say to save this woman. I have never seen someone so desperate, really. The words began pouring out, it truly was not me speaking, and I was able to ask her inspired questions. We knelt on the ground together and said a prayer together, and the Spirit was so strong. After an exhausting and stressful 30 minutes, I felt the peaceful assurance that everything was okay, that she would be alright. She felt it too. I was so grateful we showed up in her moment of need, and that the Lord truly put the words I needed in that moment into my heart.

2.) I have not really seen baptisms in my mission so far, but I HAVE been blessed to see inactive/less-active families come back to activity because the Lord made us instruments in His hands. As we speak to them about preparing to go to the temple and make necessary changes in their lives, and I see the joy the gospel brings to their lives, I know that THAT is success. I love them all so dearly. Just like Alma said:

"I know that which the Lord hath commanded me, and I glory in it. I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God to bring some soul to repentance; and this is my joy.
 And behold, when I see many of my brethren truly penitent, and coming to the Lord their God, then is my soul filled with joy; then do I remember what the Lord has done for me, yea, even that he hath heard my prayer; yea, then do I remember his merciful arm which he extended towards me."

3.) Another success I have realized is victory over myself. When I think back on who I used to be, I cannot even recognize myself or what I did in my past. The Lord has transformed me. And every day he teaches me (sometimes with tough love,) to be more patient, more humble, and more charitable. The Young Women in this area are really struggling, and through my experiences and testimony of the Atonement, I really feel like I have been able to connect with them, and I hope that the Lord permits me to make a difference in their lives. I love them all. They are good girls, just a little lost.
Never forget that as missionaries (and we all are,) the greatest success is in converting yourself.   That is how you save generations. Doctrine and Covenants 18 teaches us:

"10 Remember the aworth of bsouls is great in the sight of God;
 11 For, behold, the Lord your aRedeemer suffered bdeath in the flesh; wherefore he csuffered the dpain of all men, that all men might repent and ecome unto him.
 12 And he hath arisen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of brepentance.
 13 And how great is his ajoy in the bsoul that crepenteth!
 14 Wherefore, you are called to acry repentance unto this people.
 15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one asoul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!
 16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the akingdom of my Father, how great will be your bjoy if you should bring many csouls unto me!"


EVERY soul counts, and the Lord is pleased when you save anyone, especially yourself and your future families. Live today so they will have a good example tomorrow.

 I love you all. The Church IS true.

Hermana Miller

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