Hermana Miller: Week 13:
He Never Forgets Us!
1/13/2014
What a week! We got
transfer calls! Both Hermana Pocock and I are staying in Grand Island, which I
could not be happier about. I absolutely love my sweet companion and this
place. (Not actually the place but the people. I love them! Oh man...I am
starting to sound like a missionary now!) Hey mom, I went to the doctor
finally! I have an ear infection, a sinus infection, and bronchitis starting!
But they gave me some sweet meds so I am feeling gooood!
This week has been a
serious blur. Time goes so fast on the mission. I can't believe I am already
coming up on three months! I am not counting down because I want to go home, I
am panicking because I feel like I don't have enough time to work hard for the Lord!
I seriously LOVE being a missionary. It's super hard some days, and we are
always EXHAUSTED, but it is SO worth it. It feels so unfair sometimes because I
just want to show my love and gratitude to Heavenly Father through working my
little tush off, but He keeps blessing us so much it just doesn't seem right!
This time has been irreplaceable for me. The biggest blessings I have seen is I
truly can see and say that I am starting to become the woman I want to be. A
woman of God. I am learning lessons now that I KNOW I will use as a wife and
mother, and I couldn't be more grateful for this time. It's truly priceless.
Heavenly Father is just too good to us.
Keyla, our little gal
who was going to get baptized this coming Saturday, won't be getting
baptized until next week now because she was sick and could not come on
Sunday. Ughhh. :( Things always happen to our baptisms! But it is okay because
the Lord always provides! He really and truly loves us so much! We had that
baptism "tea party" for the little girls in the ward this week and it
was a beautiful experience. We taught them all about baptism and the five steps
of the gospel of Jesus Christ. (Faith, repentance, baptism, gift of the Holy
Ghost, endure to the end.) It reminded me of my baptism and got me so excited
for Brock to be baptized soon! I am so proud of him! Sometimes it is hard
because we really are working SO hard every day and trying SO hard to be
exactly obedient, and our baptisms and investigators have kinda been dropping
or falling through recently. It's been heartbreaking, honestly. I sat and just
cried one day this week when we stopped by for a first real lesson with an
investigator we were really excited about (We randomly decided to stop and
knock her house and found out her husband recently died in a tragic accident.
The Spirit was so strong and she could not wait to have us come back and teach
her more about eternal families!) because she opened the door and wouldn't even
let us in because her pastor's wife said not to listen to us because we would
confuse her. That was the hardest moment of my mission so far. To know that she
felt the Spirit, that she is super prepared and ready for the gospel, that she
needs it desperately and could be so much happier and more comforted knowing
that she can have an eternal family, and watching her just reject it because of
the opinion of another. I was so, so, so devastated! I just love her so much
and pray for her every night that she will remember what she felt. I am going to
write her a note today. So sometimes it feels like we are not making a
difference; in moments like that it is easy to get discouraged. But we are
truly seeing miracles and working hard. We had the highest numbers in the zone
this week and I still want to push them higher every week! So we know we really
are working and changing lives, it's just that sometimes Satan tries to tell us
we aren't, or that we aren't good enough to be out here because of our pasts.
I had an amazing study
session today that helped me truly feel the love of our Father. I started
reading in 2 Nephi 26 and found this tiny little line that meant the world to
me:
"all those who
have dwindled in
unbelief shall not be forgotten."
He never forgets any
of His children! Even the ones who have forgotten Him. We all go through points
in our lives when we dwindle in our faith, and yet His faith in us never
dwindles. He has never doubted our goodness, He doesn't now, and He never will.
His arms are always stretched open, waiting for us to run to Him for a big hug.
If you continue reading in that chapter you will find these, some of the most
tender verses about God's love that I have found so far:
"24 He doeth
not aanything save it be for the benefit of
the world; for he bloveth the world, even that he layeth
down his own life that he may draw callmen unto him. Wherefore, he commandeth none
that they shall not partake of his salvation.
25 Behold, doth he cry unto any, saying: Depart from me?
Behold, I say unto you, Nay; but he saith: aCome unto me all ye bends of the earth, cbuymilk and honey, without money and without
price.
26 Behold, hath he commanded any that they should adepart out of the synagogues, or out of
the houses of worship? Behold, I say unto you, Nay.
27 Hath he commanded any that they should not partake of
his asalvation? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but he
hath bgiven it free for all men; and he hath
commanded his people that they should persuade all men to crepentance.
28 Behold, hath the Lord commanded any that they should not
partake of his goodness? Behold I say unto you, Nay; but aall men are privileged the one blike unto the other, and none are
forbidden."
How
incredible is His love! No matter what we have done or who we have been, He
ever stands, waiting for us to return to Him. He will never deny us His love.
He will never deny us forgiveness. He will never deny us the opportunity to
become new and become tools in His hands. Often, I feel just like Alma the
Younger when he said:
"28 Nevertheless,
after wading through much tribulation, repenting nigh unto death, the Lord in
mercy hath seen fit to snatch me out of an everlasting burning, and I am born
of God.
29 My soul hath been redeemed from the gall of bitterness
and bonds of iniquity. I was in the darkest abyss; but now I behold the
marvelous light of God. My soul was racked with eternal torment; but I am
snatched, and my soul is pained no more."
I
know I have been forgiven by my loving Heavenly Father. I have lived far from a
perfect life, and I know I must have caused Him countless tears, because I am
aware of how many I caused my earthly parents to cry. But the past is to be
learned from, not lived in. We all are imperfect, and we must learn to look
forward to the future, not to dwell in our yesterdays but to gloriously and
confidently march into our tomorrows. I am so grateful for the perfect and
empowering love of my Heavenly Father. Feeling that, I can't help but to want
to be a better daughter. I love Him. With all my heart. And I am so grateful
for this time to help other feel that love too. Because everyone deserves it.
It is the most valuable treasure, and yet it is free.
I
love you all and hope all is well. Stay safe, warm, and worthy of the Spirit.
Never forget that it is never too late to return to Heavenly Father. He will
never reject you.
Much
love,
Hermana Miller
No comments:
Post a Comment