Today I have had a few things on my mind and on my heart. The first is a concept that I have been mulling over for a few weeks, so I will share that first.
A while ago I discovered the joy of rugby. (It's just a simply great sport.) But as I attended my first match, I was a little troubled. The players were only allowed to pass the ball sideways and backwards. It seemed counterintuitive to me. "Why in the world would you pass backwards when you are supposed to be going forward?" I came home after the game and deeper researched the rules and strategy of the game and came to peace with the concept, but the underlying notion stayed with me. I've pondered on it quite heavily as of late, and I have come to the conclusion that it is a universal concept; one that extends beyond the rugby pitch. There may be times when we feel we are consistently moving backward; but it is during those times that we have the greatest capacity and opportunity to progress and press forward. As part of our experience here in this mortal life, we humans are subject to setbacks, downfalls, and shortcomings. We often feel we are being pulled farther away from our goal of eternal glory, whether by our own actions and decisions or by exterior forces we cannot control. It can be frustrating and disheartening. I know this from experience-I have felt it deeply in my own life. But I can promise to you with all my heart that all is well. Sometimes it is in the descending below all things that we find the strength for the transcending above all things. Interestingly enough, we must often learn to fall short in order to learn to stretch enough to reach our goal. We must take lateral and regressive steps in order to press forward. Often, our anticipated glorious charge to the finish line, is, in reality, a slow and convoluted process in which our final crossing is not a sprint, but a crawl wherein we exert all our remaining strength to simply drag ourselves across the marker. So it can be in rugby, and so it is in life. Attaining a "try," or a score, is often a struggle to achieve in the sport, with opposing forces pulling you down and pushing you back. It takes a nearly inhuman strength to overcome them and breach that painted white line in the grass. Several times, it looks very nearly impossible to do. I don't need to tell you that life is often similar to this. Isaac Newton told us that there are opposing forces that exert upon each other in this universe, and Nephi told us that there must be "opposition in all things." That's just how life works here on Earth. Sometimes we are being pushed back by exterior forces, such a the actions of others or trials and heartbreaks in our lives. Other times, we push back against ourselves as our divine heritage wages a war and battles with the natural man as we attempt to forsake our sins, but continue to be subject to temptation. It has been this way since the dawn of time and it will be this way for forever, but there is a way to push through. Rugby, once again, supplies another great and eternal truth. I have observed two key steps to attaining the ultimate goal of a try-passing, and pushing. There are moments in rugby when the offensive player realizes that they cannot get to the try line on their own. There is a wall of defensive players blocking their way that they know that cannot overcome. Their efforts often look like they may have been in vain. But here is where an infinite lesson comes in-rugby is not a one man game. In those moments, the player handling the ball can pass it off to their teammate, who will be better equipped and have a better chance of scoring. We too, have a teammate. His name is Christ. He is always right there beside us, waiting for us to hand off our burdens to Him so that He help us achieve our ultimate goals. When we rely on His Atonement, and ask him to take our sins, pains, and fears which may be holding us back, from us, He will do so. And He will take it all with a glad heart full of love for us. For you. For me. It is in those moments that we feel we can do no more; that we have moved backwards, that we have no more hope of reaching ou potential, that we learn to rely on Him and His Atonement, and therefore equip ourselves with the strength and teammate needed to achieve eternal life. How glorious that is to know that at any time, we can cast our burdens onto the Lord and He will face the opposition for us! We have a great asset in the gift we have of "passing." Other times in rugby, a player engages with opposing players, and instead of taking the ball from him, his teammates will join together and help him push, overpowering the defensive team. Other times in our life, the Lord will give us the privilege of "pushing." With our limited and imperfect view, we may see the opposing forces in our life and think that we are being made to combat them on our own, but what we do not see is our brother Christ, right there behind us, exerting Himself to His very breaking point in order to enable us to take on our demons and fight them off. In these moments, when we feel that we have not been given the option to pass our burdens off, we, as mortals, can feel daunted and discouraged. We may feel that we have been given a heavy cross to bear, all on our own. I know I have felt this way before. It is a lonely and bewildering feeling. There have been times when I have thought, "Lord, I am doing all that I can, and I still am not strong enough. I cannot do this on my own. I know that you know this, so why can I not find you to help me right when I need you?" As I battled with these feelings some time ago, a friend suggested that I read the eighth chapter of C.S Lewis' great book, The Screwtape Letters. I followed his advice, and found this profound truth in the correspondance of two demons- Wormwood and Screwtape. "He will set them off with communications of his presence, which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later, He withdraws, if not in fact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on its own legs-to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost all relish. It is during such trough periods, much more than during the peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be. Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. We can drag our patients along by continual tempting, because we design them only for the table, and the more their will is interfered with the better. He cannot 'tempt' to virtue as we do to vice. He wants them to learn to walk and therefore must take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles. Do not be deceived, Wormwood. Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon the universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys." This opened my eyes immensely. There are times when the Lord will allow us to hold the burden on our own. He will expect us to try our hardest, even when it may appear that He is not there. But He always is, watching over, and pushing us forward, even though we may not recognize His presence. Just as a child cannot learn to ride a bike without the parent letting go of the handlebars, so can we not learn to exert ourselves against opposition without periods of time where we believe we must fight it all on our own. The parent never forsakes their child, and when the bike tips over and the child falls and skins their knee, it hurts the mother or father also to see the tears well up in their child's eyes; but nothing makes them more proud than, when they are aching and tired and seemingly all alone, that little warrior picks themselves up off the pavement, dusts themselves off, gets on that bike, and tries again. "He is pleased even with their stumbles." Those moments where we feel the most neglected and exhausted, and yet keep pushing , are the moments in which Christ is pushing for us the strongest, even though we may not know He is there. Through the enabling power of His Atonement He is giving us the strength to win our battles, and our Heavenly Father is unspeakably proud of us. I know this with all my heart. We must, at times, move backwards in order to move forward and succeed. I am so grateful for this lesson that I have been taught.
The second topic to address was something interesting I heard as I watched the Sunday morning session of General Conference today. Sister Rosemary M. Wixom told a story about an airman, J. Hess (who, coincidentally, was one of my relatives,) and how he was shot down and taken as a prisoner of war in the 1960's. For two years, he had no contact with his family. They did not even know if he was alive. Finally, his Vietnamese captors allowed him to write a message home, but he was limited to a meager 25 words. This is what he wrote, not sure if he would ever get a chance to say anything else to them in this life: "These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on. Set goals. Write history. Take pictures twice a year." This touched me, and I have been pondering on what I would tell my family. What is most important? How would I choose to spend my 25 words? This is what I came up with. Family, pay attention. "God lives. Love Him, serve Him. Improve and contribute to the world. Respect others and yourself. I love you. Cherish the Atonement. Endure with hope."
God be with you till we meet again,
Alyssa
Beautifully written & yes, I paid attention!
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