Hermana Miller: Week 1: Mole Skin, Carlos, y Cucarachas

Hollllaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

(That's Spanish for "hello," in case you didn't know...) :) THIS IS THE LIFE! Being a missionary is like the single greatest thing of all time. Oh boy, let me tell you. I am having the best week I have ever had-bar none. Nothing tops this. Not even close. Except for the first day, which was an adventure that I will explain later, I have not been homesick at all. Not even a teeny bit. Honestly, all I have been thinking about is how much I love it here, love the language, and love my investigator; Carlos. I know that sounds bad, and I am really sorry everyone, but you would understand if you were here. Everyday I wake up and walk outside and say "This is the new best day of my life!" And it's so true. I love this gospel and I love being a missionary. So let me tell you how my week went, but first here is something really important: DO NOT SEND ANY PACKAGES TO ME HERE, PLEASE! They can never get them through customs in time and sometimes they get stolen. (And by sometimes, I mean fairly often.) So just save that tan skirt I forgot until I get to good ol' Nebrasky please.

Wednesday, October 16th: Oh boy. This day was the longest in history I think, it probably lasted a good 35 hours. I already told you about getting here and my plane rides so that is good because I don't want to type all that again. (If you already forgot, go read my other email hahaha.) But getting here was awesome, the campus is HUGE. I think getting my name tag was the world's most exciting moment. I feel like a real missionary now! Every morning I wake up and put it on and just smile like crazy. I don’t know what I am going to do without it in 18 months. Anyways, well that day I couldn’t find my companion so I went to the front desk and asked them where I could find her and they said that she was supposed to land that day but had missed her flight so I would just be by myself. I did not think too much of it until I went back to my casa, (those are great because there are five bedrooms, a study area & living room, a kitchen with no appliances and a laundry room. Each bedroom has their own bathroom which is nice,) and no one else was there. Ohhh great. I thought I was by myself. Well good news-I wasn't! Six other girls showed up that night. Bad news-literally none of them spoke a lick of English. But they were all so nice and let me sleep in their room with them so I would not have to be alone. They are from Mexico, Uruguay, and Argentina. That night as I laid in bed though I got really bummed out because I was really overwhelmed and couldn't understand anything and I felt all alone. So that night I was homesick for sure. But the reception desk told me my companion should get there during the night so I was not too worried.

Thursday, October 17th: Woke up and guess what?! Still no companion!!! By this point I was like okay what the heck. But it turns out that she read her ticket wrong and missed all her flights and so she ended up getting there late in the afternoon on Thursday. Her name is Hermana Buhler and she is from West Jordan, UT. She's a very sweet girl. She knows more trivia than anyone in the entire world I bet. She knows the entire voice cast for every single Veggie Tales movie, and also all the lyrics to the songs. She is an absolute blast-we have a good time. We really do get along well. It's just us in our room so I am glad we do. She is really struggling with Spanish because she has only ever spoken a little bit of German, so I have been helping her out. You want to know why I have been able to help her out? Because the Lord keeps his promises! Seriously I feel like my tongue has been loosed, and this language is coming soooo easily to me. I am remembering things I haven’t used since high school. It's actually the most awesome thing ever. Every person I talk to tells me how dang good my Spanish is and that my accent is perfect and they can't believe I have only been out here for such a short amount of time. I can only say that it is the Spirit and the Lord. I owe it all to them. Kudos to you, Heavenly Father. I met my district-Distrito 7B for lifeeee. There are 8 elders and just us two sisters. The district leader is Elder Mendevil (we have become really good friends,) and then the other Elders are Elder Abbott, Bown, Jensen, Whitehouse, Bernhardt, Garff, and Robinson. They are all too much fun. (Seriously though, they are like eighteen and sometimes I feel like I am babysitting. But they still rock.) Elder Mendivil is like the most impressive person I have ever met-he is only 18 but a spiritual GIANT and so mature and the single most genuinely nice person EVER. I am glad he is here, he's a blessing and between the two of us we are able to keep the little boys in check haha. The MTC president is Presidente Pratt- he and his wife are hilarious, but kind of scary. My teachers are both natives of Mexico- Hermano Ramirez and Hermana Vargas. I keep telling them they should get married. My branch presidency is awesome-the two I have met are Hermano Ruiz and Hermano Rodriguez. I met with them and they made me the Sister Training Leader for the branch which is pretty cool because I like responsibility and the opportunity to serve more. Coolest thing about Thursday was we had a class where an investigator volunteered to come in and we all got to work with her as a group. It was going alright until one sweet sister started going off on this long and confusing tangent that lasted five minutes, and the Spirit just left and the poor investigator, Isabel, was so confused. I felt bad for the sister because she really was knowledgeable, but she pushed too much and everyone was uncomfortable. The teacher stopped her and thanked her and asked if anyone else had anything they wanted to say to Isabel. Before I knew what I was doing I raised my hand and just started talking to Isabel. (She lost her mother three years ago, and I felt like I needed to talk to her.) I told her I knew how she felt because I had lost grandpa, and then I let her know that she has a Heavenly Father who loves us and has a way for her to see her mother again. Then I told her that her mother is in heaven learning all these new things like she is, and that it may be confusing now but it is true. And if she does all these things, she will get to see her mother again and have an eternal family. The room was silent and the Spirit was so strong and almost all of us were crying. It was an amazing moment, and I am so glad the Spirit was able to speak through me.

 Friday, October 18th: Everyday I am more tired than I have ever been because our hours are 16 hour days, but I am happier than I have ever been. In the words of President Pratt "Welcome to Paradise...and if you don't believe me, look at Provo." Haha YES. It really is amazing here. Friday was the first day we taught our investigator, Carlos. I learned two very important lessons. 1.) Always follow the Spirit...ALWAYS. 2.) MAKE SURE YOU HAVE THE RIGHT INVESTIGATOR. Little tip for you...when you are in Mexico and your investigator's name is "Carlos," you may want to check the last name before you start teaching him. We definitely taught the wrong Carlos for ten whole minutes, and when we were done I was really disappointed with how it went. Hma B and I went downstairs to get water and all of the sudden I hear E Mendivil yelling "HERMANA MILLER! HERMANA MILLER! CARLOS IS HERE!" I bolted upstairs and was like what?! Turns out half of our district taught the wrong Carlos. Oh well, we got a practice run and a good laugh. The second lesson was AMAZING. We taught him for 30 entire minutes! I can’t believe how well I can speak to him on just the second full day. We talked about eternal families and the Spirit was so strong. I invited him to be baptized and he said he is not quite ready but he really is interested in it! Oh, and it is so rainy here, like flipping monsoon season every afternoon so that was fun.

Saturday, October 19th: We taught Carlos again! Love that man. We had another 30 minute lesson about the Book of Mormon and how it can answer his questions about life and churches because he thinks they are all the same. He said he felt really good about what I was telling him but wanted to know how I knew that it was the most correct book. I started crying and bore my testimony to him that I knew it was true because I had lived without it in my life and I had seen the difference. I told him I wanted him to feel that difference and joy too and I promised him that he would. I had no doubt that he would. He got very quiet and just said "thank you," over and over. Pretty amazing. We invited him to read the introduction and pray about it and he said he would. Then I asked him o pray and he accepted but didn't know how so I taught him and he did it! Which is a miracle because last lesson he wouldn’t do it. His prayer was perfect-he said he knew he didn{t pray a lot and did not know how to give a prayer, but he was grateful we had come to him, listenend, to him, and cared about him. When he was done I was all teary and told him it was the most perfect prayer I had ever heard. He blushed and got all shy and it was so cute haha. The rain is still going and makes me want to build an ark. Also, PS-when Mexicans think American food, they apparently think "hot dogs" and consequently put them in EVERYTHING, and call them salchichas. Even salads.

Sunday, October 20th: Sundays here at the CCM are awesome! I had my first leadership meeting, and then we had church which was really nice. Every Sunday every person has to prepare a talk and then they randomly call people up in Sacrament. I didn’t have to speak, but I am not scared to. You guys would not recognize me, I am not shy or anything at all! I talk to EVERYONE! Sunday nights are awesome because we get to watch a church movie all together. We watched "Legacy," and if you have not seen it recently, please watch it. It is hilariously corny. But still really good, it was a tender mercy for me because it showed Council Bluffs, Iowa and Winter Quarters, Nebraska in it which was touching because those are in my mission. It made me think about how much the pioneers sacrificed so we can have the gospel. Do we treat it with the respect their sacrifices deserve? Anyways, something else funny from today was some elders in my branch were talking to me and asked if I speak French, I said no, but I did speak Italian. They said they could hear it and I asked if it was bad. One said "Oh no way, it{s way cute." I laughed, and said "That's how elders get sent home." and closed the door on him hahaha.

Monday, October 21st: I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THE PRIESTHOOD! My back has been feeling okay but it was excruciating on Monday. I was about to cry all day. I decided to ask Elder Mendivil and Elder Abbott for a blessing. I don’t think they have ever given any before so it was really sweet, they went in the hall and studied how to do it and prayed for inspiration and Elder M came back and gave me the best blessing ever, all about how my heart has changed and I have come a long way and how I am here right now to change lives, not only in NE but also in the CCM. He blessed me with the strength to forget my pain. I just cried and cried and he got teary too and afterwards I had to leave with Hma Buhler to collect myself outside. He is just the best. He is like a brother to me and I adore that kid. We taught Carlos again today about Joseph Smith for AN HOUR. Holy crap my mouth was dry. But it was good.

Tuesday, October 22nd: P-DAY! We went to the temple! SO AWESOME! Even in Spanish. Driving through the city is hard, so many people are living in poverty. Well, my time is up. I don’t have time to respond individually, so please forward this. Also, I can’t post pictures on Flickr until Nebraska. Sorry. Please edit this and fix the mistakes from the Spanish keyboard.

LOVE YOU ALL AND I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! The church is TRUE! Being a missionary ROCKS!

Love, Hermana Miller.

And.... Hermana Miller is off!

After a very emotional week, Alyssa was set apart as a full time missionary last night - 10-15-2013 by Stake President Crane of the Loveland CO Stake.

Alyssa had been complaining of excruciating back pain for the past week & after everyone left our house on Sunday evening after her farewell, she could barely move due to the pain shooting down her lower back & into her legs.  She, literally, cried in pain.  Her dad gave her a father's blessing & she was able to sleep a little with the help of Tylenol, Aleve & all their friends.

I got an appointment for her to see an orthopedic back surgeon Monday afternoon - after x-rays & an exam, he told her that she could NOT leave on her mission as he suspected a ripped / torn / or herniated disc in her lower back.  She was DEVASTATED!  I kept telling her to take a breath, ask for a priesthood blessing, pray & THEN, see what happens. 

Our new Home Teacher (ironically, the partner to the orthopedic surgeon we saw earlier in the day) came over & helped her dad administer to her.  Afterwards, he said, "you will know by tomorrow what your path should be..."   So, we all prayed & Alyssa read Matthew 6 & by Tuesday morning - she knew that she would stay the course & plan to report to the MTC today - Wednesday, October 16th. 

She still moved very slow & very guarded & painfully yesterday.  I was worried about her, but knew that she was completely in tune & I don't doubt her inspiration at all.  She said, "I am supposed to just keep the faith & report as planned...  If I get worse, we'll take it from there."

This morning, she woke up - was able to move pretty easily & without the excruciating pain - which I consider a TRUE miracle!  From experiencing the same disc issues early in my marriage - I remember the excruciating pain & the physical therapy I had for 11 months to rehabilitate me - I KNOW without a doubt that the Lord worked a miracle for her to be able to leave on schedule today & what a tender mercy it is for us all.  I testify of these things: The power of the Priesthood is real & tangible & on this earth today.  Miracles still happen, big & small, every day.  The Lord hears & answers our every prayer.

Such huge smiles, such great faith & such an infectious spirit this morning as she hugged & kissed us all & walked away through security, waving....  Such a strong confidence in this new & exciting adventure.  The Lord has a powerful tool in His faithful daughter, Hermana Miller. 

"Thou Art Still Chosen:" A Letter To Those Who Have Given Up

Tonight I am writing to a special group of people, people who will always hold a place dear to my heart. I am speaking to those who are on the edge of giving up. I am speaking to those who feel they no longer can return from the path they have chosen to take. I am speaking to those whose hearts have been broken and whose spirits weigh heavy with the regret of past or current decisions. I choose to speak to you, my beloved brothers and sisters, because not so long ago at all I was in your shoes. Approximately eighteen months ago I was teetering on the edge of falling headlong into an abyss I had created for myself. This great chasm was filled with self-disgust, doubt, and despair. I had dug it over time during a “spiritual drought,” a time in which I lost sight of my divine potential, and made choices which left my heart shattered and my soul deprived and starving for light and love. I truly wanted to change, I had tried countless times to turn away from my habits, and I had failed each time. I felt like I had nowhere else to go with my life, that the person I had become was who I would be stuck as for the rest of my existence. I could not even stand to look at myself in the mirror. Truly, I had reached a point in which I had given up on myself, and I felt as if I had trapped myself in a self-imposed prison, which I had built out of bricks of sin. It was the darkest time of my entire life. I cannot recall a single instance so terrifically horrifying as what I felt everyday of my life during that time. I could hardly bear waking up in the morning, for I knew that day I would shame myself more, and I was terrified to go to sleep at night, aware that my dreams were often brutally honest recollections and reminders of the path I had chosen for myself. I had hit rock bottom. Hard. And yet, today the girl who writes this is a completely different woman. Who was once hopeless, is now full of hope. Who was once dwelling in utter darkness, is now filled with a most glorious light. Who was once unable to love her broken self, is now amazed and healed by the love of her Heavenly Father and brother, Jesus Christ. Eighteen months ago, I could barely imagine going to church meetings and not feeling guilty and miserable. Today, I went back to the temple after receiving my personal endowment last week, and I will be leaving in less than three weeks to serve a mission among the beloved people of the Nebraska Omaha mission. My friends, if you need evidence that no one is worth giving up on, look at me. I am living proof of the transforming power of the Atonement of our Savior.

And that is why I speak to you today; because I have been where you are and I have been rescued by the Lord. The sweetness of what I feel now is beyond all description, and I know without a doubt that you also can feel this way. You too can be saved. You too can be overwhelmed with the love and confidence your Heavenly Father has in you. Yes, He has confidence in you, just as I do. He has confidence that you will turn from your path. He has confidence that you will come to Him. And, perhaps most importantly, He has confidence that you will work great miracles for good in the future. I know this is truth. I feel it more deeply than I have words to explain. Just because you have been lost does not mean you cannot be found. It never has and it never will.  It is never too late to be found by the Good Shepherd. You can never wander too far, or stray into landscapes too dark and dangerous for His loving eyes to see you, and for His loving arms to scoop you up and carry you back to safety. No effort is too much to the Lord when it comes to saving His precious ones. You are precious. Let me repeat that. You. Are. Absolutely. Precious. No matter how many agonizing mountains He has to climb, no matter how many deep and pitch black valleys He must navigate through, no matter how many bone-freezing rivers and scorching deserts he must overcome, He will do it. Because you are worth it. You are precious. And not only will He suffer all these things, He does it with a smile on His face and love in His heart. Never does our brother and Savior begrudgingly reach out His hand to pull one of us up from the depths, thinking to Himself how pathetically we got ourselves into that mess. Not once has He, nor will He ever, complain that we once again need His help. I promise you that. His love and patience, like His Atonement, are infinite. We did not come to this Earth to be perfect. We came to this Earth to be proved. He knows that we will stumble and fall. That’s just part of the deal. But the wonderful thing about Christ is that when we stumble and fall, He is right there, just waiting to pick us up, dust us off, and help us choose a path, which next time may not be so perilous. Can you hear what I am saying? We could fall one million times a day, and He would be there waiting for the one million and first time, because He sees us perfectly, and He knows that eventually, when He picks us up and sets us aright, that one day we will learn to dodge those obstacles, to pick paths that are not quite so dangerous, and we will learn to lean on Him as our guide and friend.  He will NEVER give up on you. Never. He has not doubted you, He does not now doubt you, and never will he ever doubt you in the future. The Savior of the world, the most powerful and wonderful being in the universe and eternities, has faith in you. He believes in you. Isn’t that incredible? If He has not given up on us, why should we ever give up on ourselves? We have the greatest individual who ever existed on our side, helping us every step of the way. You have not yet lost His grace or your divine potential. I love Doctrine and Covenants section three for this reason. In this section, we read the revelation given to Joseph Smith Junior, after he had allowed Martin Harris to borrow the manuscript, against the warnings of the Lord, resulting in 116 precious pages of scripture to be lost. What a tragic consequence! This was undoubtedly an excruciatingly painful time for the Prophet, as he recognized the effects of his decision, a time in which he must have questioned whether or not he was still qualified to do the will of the Lord, and perhaps he even doubted whether or not the Lord even wanted him to be a part of the work anymore. And yet, in verse ten, we read these incredible words from the Lord: “But remember, God is merciful; therefore, repent of that which thou hast done which is contrary to the commandment which I gave you, and thou art still chosen, and art again called to the work” (D&C 3:10.) I love the way that is worded. Thou art still chosen, and art again called to the work. Absolutely breathtaking.  Brothers and sisters, my dear friends, I testify to you that you still have an integral place in our Heavenly Father’s infinite plan. No matter what you have done, you still are chosen, and called to the work. Don’t you dare give up. The Lord hasn’t given up on you and you should not either. You are worth more than that. Cry unto Him and He will come unto you in your time of need and He will save you. Please, don’t you give up on yourself. You have miracles to work. You have mountains to move and seas to part. You have lives to bless and eternities to shape. You need not have lived a perfect life to be a part of this perfect gospel. If that was the case, our church buildings would be completely empty each Sunday. I am begging you, pleading with you, don’t you ever give up on yourself. Your experiences and wanderings may give you the insight and sensitivity to touch hearts in ways that perhaps no one else can. Perhaps you can find the lonely wanderers because you yourself have walked those same dark paths. You are needed and you are infinitely important. You have a divine potential to reach, and the Lord will help you reach it, if you only ask Him. Don’t you ever, ever, ever give up on yourself. You are precious. You are beloved. You are magnificent. Forgive yourself, and move on. Choose today a better path. It’s hard, I know. I absolutely know how difficult it is to turn away from habits engrained deeply within you. But it is so worth it. Yes, you may stumble and regress once, twice, one million times, but don’t you dare give up. You keep trying, you keep praying, and you keep asking the Lord to help you and I promise you that one day you will look back, just as I did today, and you will be overwhelmed by the complete change the Lord has made in your life…and you will be overwhelmed by what He has enabled you to accomplish, and you will be excited for the miracles He will have you work in the days to come. I promise that with my entire heart. The fourth chapter of Second Nephi is one of my absolute favorites, it is Nephi’s Psalm, and it is beautiful. Please, read it if you have a chance. I wish I could include all of the verses here, but I will highlight a small excerpt which brought me the courage to move on.

“O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in His condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.” (2 Nephi 4: 26-28)

My courageous friends, don’t you give up on yourself. No matter what may weigh heavily on your soul, I beg of you to keep the faith in yourself. Your Savior and Heavenly Father have. You still can be a great and powerful force for good in this world. You can bring light to others in the dark. You can feel perfect love envelop you completely. Don’t you dare give up. Thou art still chosen.

The Bridge Builder: Thoughts on Justice and Mercy

Every day, you and I make decisions. And each action we take is accounted for in Heaven; whether it be righteous, or less than perfect. It is not any profound revelation that we, as human beings who are subject to the wiles of the natural man, make mistakes. We play in mud puddles, we trip and fall, and we often soil our pristine white clothing. I personally fall short of my vast eternal potential every single day. We are not perfect. The Lord knows that. He loves us, and just as a parent knows their child well enough to predict that, if left alone in a room with easily accessible candy, the child will spoil their dinner, He knows us and our weaknesses well enough to know that we will make mistakes…and a lot of them at that. He loves us through our imperfections and wants us to live with Him, and yet, in 1 Nephi 10: 21 we are told that “Wherefore, if ye have sought to do wickedly in the days of your probation, then ye are found unclean before the judgment seat of God, and no unclean thing can dwell with God; wherefore, ye must be cast off forever.” This is a bitter pill to swallow. In Matthew 5:48, we also find this statement: “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”

I know at times in my life, I have considered this paradox. The Lord knows we are imperfect, and yet he demands perfection of us in order to gain entrance into His presence. He must be perfect in his justice, and cannot allow that any impure individual to return to Him. As much as He loves us, and may desperately want to allow us to live with Him, He cannot. Because He is a perfect being, so must He be perfectly just. At times, I have viewed this as unfair. I can remember crying out to my Father in Heaven “Why do you ask so much of me when you know I am not capable of meeting the bar that you have set? Do you want me to fail? Do you even want me to come home to you again?” In hindsight, I recognize that those questions were juvenile, and short-sighted. But I feel like there is a possibility that they may be more universal than I thought at the time. Everyone experiences, at some point or another, the bitter recognition of their shortcomings, and the ache of realizing that we are no longer qualified to dwell with our Beloved Father again.  That may be the darkest, most empty feeling the human soul is capable of experiencing. It is cold, and it is excruciating. We often cannot fully comprehend and reconcile the need for justice and consequences of our actions, with the fact that we have an immensely loving Father in Heaven who wants us to succeed. It is not difficult to see this commandment of perfection as harsh and callous, and allow our views of our Eternal Father to be skewed by such incomplete views of the concept of justice. With our limited vision and understanding, we often forget that we have a bridge to perfection. This bridge is called mercy, and it comes through the Atonement of our brother and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Mercy is the compassionate treatment of a person, greater than what is deserved.  The Savior satisfied the demands of justice with mercy when He stood in our place and suffered the penalty for our sins. Alma 34:14-16 sums this concept up better than I ever could in my own insufficient words.

“And behold, this is the whole meaning of the law, every whit pointing to that great and last sacrifice; and that great and last sacrifice will be the Son of God, yea, infinite and eternal. “

“And thus He shall bring salvation to all those who shall believe on His name; this being the intent of this last sacrifice, to bring about the bowels of mercy, which overpowereth justice, and bringeth about means unto men that they may have faith unto repentance.”

“And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety, while he that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice; therefore only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption.” 

How incredible this is to me, that the Savior would sacrifice His own perfect, blameless life for someone as stubborn in their sins as I am. That He loves me enough to allow me a way to be “encircled in the arms of safety,” when the decisions I have made have been dangerous or could have been spiritually fatal without Him there to make up the difference and help me to become perfected. I love the imagery of being “wrapped up in the arms of safety.” As children, when we touch a hot stove and get burned, the first thing a loving parent often does, is scoop us up in their arms and comfort us, as they take the necessary steps to heal the wound and stop the hurt. In that moment, when our fingers are stinging and we have tears in our eyes and a wail in our throats, it does not matter if our parents have warned us a million times not to touch the hot surface, their first reaction is to comfort us and make us feel safe once again. They have mercy on us, their stubborn, rebellious children. And while justice would dictate that if we have been warned, then we must suffer the consequences on our own, but the mercy of their love overcomes that and we are wrapped in loving arms, and a healing balm is applied to our wounds.

As I consider this concept in an eternal perspective, I wonder what I have done to deserve this amazing grace. And the answer is that I have done nothing for it. And I will never be able to earn it, or repay that debt which I owe to Christ. But that is not what He asks. He simply asks us to believe on His name and practice faith unto repentance. What a small output of effort, for such an enormous and priceless treasure. “He offereth Himself a sacrifice for sin, to answer the ends of the law, unto all those who have a broken heart and a contrite spirit, and unto none else can the ends of the law be answered.” (2 Nephi 2:7) We are receiving a literal sacrifice of a perfect being to save us from an eternity of torment, guilt and woe; and what is our price? A broken heart and a contrite spirit. I cannot even comprehend the enormity of the benevolence of the Atonement fully at this time, and I pray that one day I will have a perfect understanding of it. But I do know, in my young and limited view, that the cost is greatly disproportionate to the gift we receive.

Elder Marion D. Hanks once said “the specialty of the Savior is mercy.” When we purchase any sort of goods, we tend to want the best quality we possibly can. We want to know that the craftsman is a specialist in his specific trade, and that the item we are purchasing is of the highest caliber; but that kind of specialty often comes with a heavy price-far beyond our checkbook’s ability. So imagine, when selecting the builder of our path that will allow us to cross from a flawed and filthy state to the glory of the presence of God, would you want a specialist in building bridges of mercy? Would you want the very best man for the job? One whose work is known for it’s perfection and unending strength, no matter how much weight and stress is put on it? I think the answer is an obvious and resounding “yes!” And now imagine, that as you are awaiting to hear the exorbitantly high price that you will most likely have to pay for this peace of mind, that the builder turned to you and said “I will build you this bridge. I will offer you safety and peace, and an ability to cross over unto the banks of perfection for all eternity; no matter how many times you have to use it or how heavy your load is, I promise that it will not fail you. All I ask in return, is that you come unto me in humility when you have fallen short, and when you realize that you cannot even drag yourself across it on your own, and you allow me to pick you up, wipe your tears and hold you close, and carry you across that bridge myself.” What an incredible act of love. The Savior is, in fact, a specialist in mercy. His sacrifice satisfies God’s need for perfect justice, and perfects us so that we can live in His presence again.

I think one of the most powerful testimonies of the beauty and majesty of the Savior’s merciful sacrifice came from Elder Holland’s talk titled “Laborer’s in the Vineyard” from the April 2012 General Conference, and while it is a bit lengthy, I would like to include portions of it. “…I heard many years ago that surely the thing God enjoys most about being God, is the thrill of being merciful, especially to those who don’t expect it and often feel they don’t deserve it…However late you think you are, however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have NOT traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement  shines….there is nothing that you have done that cannot be undone. There is no problem which you cannot overcome. There is no dream that in the unfolding of time and eternity cannot yet be realized. Even if you feel you are the lost and last laborer of the eleventh hour, the Lord of the vineyard still stands beckoning. “Come boldly to the throne of grace, and fall at the feet of the Holy One of Israel. Come and feast without money and without price at the table of the Lord.” Do it for the sake of the Lord Jesus Christ, who paid an unfathomable price for the future He wants you to have.”

I add my testimony to that of Elder Holland and countless others; through the incredibly merciful Atonement of Jesus Christ, I know that the justice of our Heavenly Father can be fulfilled and we can be perfected to live with Him again. I am grateful for the expectation of perfection that we have, but more than that I am eternally grateful for the ability we have been given to reach it through our loving brother and Savior.

God be with you till we meet again, 

Alyssa

Missionary Work: "A Blessed Privilege"

Edmund Burke is accredited with once saying these words: “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” This concept is seen in action in Joseph Smith’s account of his experience in the Sacred Grove. We know, that before God’s brilliant light broke through trees, young Joseph was caught in the choking grasp of Satan’s darkness, as the adversary worked with all his might to impede the great restorative work that Joseph would soon engage in. Elder Holland, in his talk entitled “We Are All Enlisted,” had this to say about that encounter: 'Joseph recorded that in an effort to oppose all that lay ahead, Lucifer exerted “such an astonishing influence over me as to bind my tongue so that I could not speak.” Satan cannot directly take a life. That is one of the many things he cannot do. But apparently his effort to stop the work will be reasonably well served if he can just bind the tongue of the faithful….He is eternally opposed to the love of God, the Atonement of Jesus Christ, and the work of peace and salvation. He will fight against these whenever and wherever he can. He knows he will be defeated and cast out in the end, but he is determined to take down with him as many others as he possibly can…I ask for a stronger and more devoted voice, a voice not only against evil and him who is the personification of it, but a voice for good, a voice for the gospel, a voice for God. Brethren (and sisters) of all ages, unbind your tongues and watch your words work wonders in the lives of those ‘who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it.' My friends, we have an incredible privilege and honor to be able to open our mouths and share this beautiful gospel of truth, comfort, and joy with those around us. Each day we come in contact with dozens, even hundreds of people. They pass us on the streets, they are in our own  circles of friends, and, more often than not, sometimes they are even in the walls of our own homes. How many of them are searching for truth? How many are searching for comfort? How many are searching for a purpose in this life, a knowledge of what eternity may bring, and a way to reconcile the mistakes of their past? Now I would ask if it is our place to keep that light within ourselves and not share it with those who are so desperately searching for it. The answer to that is we do not have the authority to withhold this marvelous gospel from God’s beloved children, for whatever reason, be it fear of speaking and off-putting, or even fear of our own shortcomings and assumed inadequacies. God has placed His trust in us, His imperfect children, to take up the responsibility and duty of caring enough about this gospel and our spiritual brothers and sisters to open our mouths and share His amazing gospel. What an honor it is! George Albert Smith worded this better than I ever could when he said this: “Knowing that the Redeemer of mankind has offered to the world the only plan that will fully develop us and make us really happy here and hereafter, I feel it not only a duty but also a blessed privilege to disseminate this truth.” How incredible is that? That our dear Heavenly Father has enough faith and confidence in us, in you and in me, in each of us individually, to trust us with assisting his other precious children in becoming converted unto the Lord and making the most important and imperative life decisions they possibly could.

Now my dear friends, I know that’s a lot of pressure. I know that talking about the gospel in your everyday conversations may feel bold, out of the ordinary, and intimidating. I personally have felt that in my own life. I often feel that I do not have words enough to convey the deepest depths of my love for this gospel, my love for my Savior, and my gratitude for the incredible sacrifice He made to save us all. But just as I have felt those feelings of inadequacy in my own life, so have I felt this truth-the Lord will bless you and enable you to do His work. He will give you the words to say and the power and spirit to touch the hearts of those who are ready and willing to hear His word. Doctrine and Covenants section four, chapter three says “If ye have desires to serve God, ye are called to the work.” The act of being called implies that we will be qualified applicants to serve our Lord. He will enable us to overcome any weakness or fear that we may have. He will take those weak points and He will fortify them so that we will be able to powerfully share His love and light with those around us. Brothers and sisters, let your faith be bigger than your fear. There are people in your lives who need to hear what you have to say, but more importantly, feel the conviction of your spirit. I echo Elder Holland when I say this: “You have more faith than you think you do.” To that I would add that you have more courage than you think you do. You have more love than you think you do. You have more power than you think you do.  Please, please do not get distracted and muddled up in the worries of your own incapability. There are people out there who need your sweet, specific spirit right now. You may stumble over your words or you may stutter, but I promise you that your desire and attempt is enough for the Lord. Yes, it takes effort. But it is effort that you will never, ever regret. I love the quote from C.S Lewis that says this: “Christ says ‘give me your all.’ I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work. I want YOU.” My dear friends, you are good enough to partake in this incredible work. Do not forget your divine and eternal potential. Do not undermine that royal heritage with thoughts that you are not smart enough, or courageous enough, or faithful enough to be the Lord’s servant. What you do matters. It makes a difference. The mission field is exactly where you are, every second of your life.  A mission is not a two year period which ends when you take off that black piece of plastic. As members of this glorious and amazing Church, we have the privilege of serving a mission every single day of our lives. I promise you that there are people that need YOU. Specifically you. You have the talents, spirit, and perception on life that no one else has, and those differences make you specially equipped to touch, serve, and love those around you in unique ways that no one else may be able to. We are all missionaries, and I pray that each day we are recognizing the opportunities in our lives to live up to and magnify that calling, that privilege, and that honor. Matthew 17:20 reminds us that “If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” You will be enabled to be a great force for good.

God be with you till we meet again, 

Alyssa