Hermana Miller: Week 19: Still on my island vacation.

2/24/2014

Whooohoooo!!!

Guess who gets to stay in Grand Island with Hermana Pocock for another transfer?! This girl!!! YES! The Lord truly answers prayers. I need more time here. I need to learn more from these people and from the Lord. We lost Elder Wilson in transfers-he is an amazing missionary. Buuuut we adopted a new little baby from the Mexico CCM-Elder Saunders, who is the definition of a Preach My Gospel missionary! So excited to see what he does. Sister Beers is no longer with us in the trio, she got a new companion, Sister Crist. That means we are back to sharing the car...oh boy! But it is okay. I have kind of missed walking. (Kind of. Only when it is warmer.)

So this week has been incredibly hard for me. All week we had this great build up-SO many people committed to come to church and were firm and dedicated to it! But Sunday came, and not a single one showed up. Not one. We did all we could think of to ensure they would be there; praying, stopping by, leaving notes, phone calls, texts, and yet not a single one came to church. It crushed me. This is the second week in a row that something like this has happened. I don't know what to do! Hermana Pocock and I ended up in the bathroom for a little while during sacrament because I was just crying so hard. (It didn't help that Hermana Pocock and I had to sing "Sirvamos Unidas" in sacrament and I was traumatized and embarrassed afterwards.) Sometimes I feel a little like the Lord of the Vineyard in Jacob 5 when He says "What more could I have done for my vineyard?" I really, truly, and desperately want to see progress in these people, and some days it just feels like all we do is for naught. I can't stand that feeling! I love these people SO MUCH and want them to have the restored gospel and the peace and joy that comes with that! Why don't they want it too? Some of them have felt and seen the difference, and are yet choosing to turn their backs. Perhaps I am being too impatient, and too prideful...that's probably what it is. I just need to trust the Lord; which includes His timetable. He has these people in His hands, I should never forget that He will never abandon us, nor His children here. I try really hard to keep my hope and faith high, and I feel like I bounce back really well, but sometimes it's still really tough.

But, I know the Lord loves us and this is His work. Literally everything is going according to His plan. I just need to be better about accepting that plan. This is a time of growth for me. I read a scripture as I studied Doctrine and Covenants 82 this week, that I distinctly remember reading in the Provo temple one day as I was struggling to accept God's plan for me before my mission:

"For ^{(Hermana Miller)} must increase in ^bbeauty, and in ^choliness; her borders must be enlarged; her ^dstakes must be strengthened; yea, verily I say unto you, (Hermana Miller) must ^earise and put on her ^fbeautiful garments."

I need to step up and work harder, learn more, and truly give every ounce of my heart, might, mind, and soul to this work. That is why I am so dedicated to this 40 day fast. I truly want to be an instrument in the hands of my Beloved Lord. I trust Him and know this is a time to help me grow and become what He wants me to be. If we endure through disappointment and hard times, He has given us a great promise, which He always will keep.

"For even yet the ^akingdom is yours, and shall be forever, if you fall not from your ^bsteadfastness. Even so. Amen."

I love Him. I love this work. I love being a missionary. It is worth every heartbreak, because you receive more joy than you ever thought possible. This is the happiest time of my life.

I love you all,

Hermana Miller :)

Hermana Miller: Week 18: Tengo gozo en mi alma hoy! (There is sunshine in my soul today!)

Aye que increible es ser una misionera! No puedo creer que casi he terminado un cuarto de mision!

(Aye it is amazing to be a missionary! I can not believe I've almost finished a quarter of a mission! – thank you, Google translate!)

YOU GUYS. This work just flies by.  I cannot believe I am coming up on my quarter mark.  And another transfer is over!  Say whaaaat?!  It's not fair.  I just wish I could be a missionary for forever.  We will be getting transfer calls this week, I am super nervous.  I am praying like crazy that Heavenly Father will grant me the wish of my heart and permit me to stay with my Grand Island family for longer. I sincerely and truly love it here, and these people need the gospel so badly.  Everyone does.  I am coming to learn that it does not matter who you are, or where you are from, or what you have done, the gospel is FOR YOU.  It helps and blesses everyone, no matter what you are going through.  The hardest thing in the world is knowing that, and knowing that your investigators know that, and seeing them just walk away from the most beautiful and joyful message they could ever receive.  We have had that happen quite a few times recently, where our investigators with baptismal dates have just dropped us out of the blue.  Satan truly does work on people, he knows how important the decision is to be baptized WITH THE PROPER AND RESTORED AUTHORITY,  and he knows the joy and peace and strength it gives us,  and he will do anything to keep us from that.  

I have seen him make children sick, run visas out, cause family contention, and fill people's minds with doubts and lies among many other horrible things, just to keep one person from being baptized.  It's so hard sometimes.  Esthela still wants to get baptized but can't get her visa figured out to come back and the missionaries in Mexico can't find her for some reason.  Jose, our investigator who was supposed to get baptized this coming Saturday, just told us that he has to go back to Mexico as well, and is not sure when he will come back.  It breaks my heart.  This work truly takes all of your heart and soul if you are being obedient and trying your best to be focused, and sometimes it just beats you up.  But as I have always said, with the greatest lows come the most wonderful joys,  greater than anything you could ever imagine.

We saw MIRACLES this week finding people.  We saw a teen girl walking and felt like we should talk to her, but by the time we parked the car and hopped out, she had disappeared.  We prayed that we would find her again one day, and had to leave to go do service.  Well, later that day we were driving and we saw her again!   This time we stopped the car immediately and jumped out and began talking to her and her friend. After about 10 minutes, she invited us to walk to her house with her.   We went in, met her family and taught them.  They are amazing and so ready to receive the gospel.  We have another lesson with them tonight, and one with her friend's family tomorrow.   God truly does hear and answer prayers.

  

Secondly, we tried to visit a less-active woman this week and she was not home, so we decided to knock a couple doors on the next apartment building over.   After no success for a while, we came to a door and I felt like we should skip a few and go down to this one door that had been calling my attention for a few minutes.   We walked over and saw it was #7...lucky number seven.   We knocked and a man opened. His name is Gennys and he is from Cuba.   He immediately told us to wait for a minute,  pulled chairs into his room and cleaned up, and let us in.   He is married and has a 3 year old boy, he doesn't drink, smoke, drink coffee, go out dancing, none of that. He is so loyal in his relationship, even though his family has been in Guatemala for two years.   He has so many questions and wants to learn so much more about the gospel so he can help his family.   Before we even offered, he asked us for any pamphlets and for the Book of Mormon and he has been reading them non-stop and writing down his questions to ask us.   He is incredible and such a gentleman and so ready for the gospel. Heavenly Father truly has prepared specific people for us here.

I love this work so much.   It is worth everything you have to give up - especially your heart.    You get so much more back in return.  I want to give everything to my Savior- including my will.  I hope you all do as well.

"Obedience brings blessings, but obedience with exactness brings miracles."   You will see miracles as you put your will in harmony with that of God.   He has the best plan anyways.

I love you all,

Hermana Miller :)

Hermana Miller: Week 17: Menudo & the Naked Veteran

2/10/14

This week has had too much in it to even begin to explain in the short time I have. This may be a list letter!

1.) This week we had 32 lessons! A little short of our goal but we worked our little behinds off! There were a lot of hard emotional situations this week, and as missionaries it really hurts to see your brothers and sisters hurting, so my heart has been a little sad. There was one specifically really tough day where all of our appointments cancelled and people were treating us really pretty bad and I just ended up crying at a less-active member's house that we were trying to serve. The elders were serving there too, and let me tell you, Grand Island has the greatest elders in the entire NOM mission I think. Earlier this week we came home two find two cute little goldfish for us on our doorstep (named Nacho and Steven,) just to make us smile! (We had to give them away though, haha.) And then the really hard day, we came home and the elders had left us two cartons of ice cream, Sesame Street spoons for each of us (I am Cookie monster, Hermana P is big Bird, and Sister B was Elmo,) and both of them had bought each one of us sweet cards and had written us long and encouraging notes and found specific scriptures for us. I definitely bawled. On Sunday, our other elders came in the morning, swept and scraped our car, and then started it for us so it would be warm. They are all such blessings.

2.) I started a 40 Day fast this week! That means that for 40 days I will be abstaining from ANYTHING that distracts me from being a consecrated missionary. I have a lot of work to do, but I can feel the Lord strengthening me and I can already see a big difference in myself. Can't wait to see day 40! I encourage you to do this in your lives-find something to sacrifice that is keeping you from being closer to the Lord!

3.) Tried Menudo this week. It tastes like doo-doo and I hate it. But we were eating with members so I had to pretend I liked it and eat the whole bowl. If you don't know what it is, look it up.

4.) While we were at the Veteran's Home this week, an older gentleman decided to relieve himself about ten feet away from me in the living room area. Never thought I would see an old man bum on my mission. Twice. Yes, he did it a second time. Surprise.

5.) Hermana Pocock and I had the honor of speaking in sacrament this week, and my topic was love. (How timely, with el Dia de Amor y Amistad coming up!) I truly adored this topic, and it strengthened my testimony so much. As I studied how much our Heavenly Father loves us, I started to realize why it is the first point we share as missionaries; it is EVERYTHING. All that God has ever done, does now, and ever will do is because He LOVES US PERFECTLY. That's so incredible! He created the world, bodies, families, this gospel, commandments, families, and more than anything else, He sent us a Savior. In the greatest act of love of all time, He sent His Beloved Son to live, suffer, and die for us-His other oh-so-imperfect children. And our Brother, Jesus Christ, loved us and His Father enough to do it. Wow. As I think about that my heart swells and fills with love and gratitude...it feels like there is too much for my little heart to hold. Everything that we have is an evidence of His love-especially the commandments! They know how painful it was to suffer for those sins, and they want us to avoid that same pain! And they want us to return to them! I love the story of the Prodigal Son, it illustrates this perfect and unfailing love and desire to live with us with such poignancy.

"And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him."

We are still yet a great way off from being worthy of living with our Father again, yet, because He loves us, He offers us this sacrifice, and it is never too late to return. He is always waiting with arms wide open. When I think about all the love my Father has, it makes me want to be a better daughter. It makes me want to serve Him with all I have and be exactly obedient, not just for 18 months but for eternity. I love the story of Jacob and Rachel, because of this verse:

"And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her."

As I come to understand the love of our Lord and Savior, I am growing an even greater desire to serve Him and His children, my brothers and sisters, tirelessly. I love them so much. I hope you all focus on the perfect and pure love of Christ, charity, this Valentine's Day. That's true love, and it is an eternal love story.

I love you all!  Happy Valentine's day!

All my heart,

Hermana Miller

Hermana Miller: Week 16: I'm an OREO Now!!!

2/3/14

Sooo guess who is now in a tri-panionship?!   This girl!   That's right, Hermana Pocock and I have decided to adopt a baby.    A little 21 year old English Speaking Sister Missionary baby! Haha!    One of the English sisters in our area had to go home due to illness, so sweet Sister Beers is now our third companion!     We are having so much fun!   (And stress! Haha!)    We call ourselves an "oreo."     Two Spanish-speaking cookies on the outside and a sweet gringo cream in the center.     Jajajajaja!     We now have double the work-we do all the English and Spanish Sister work!    But we are trusting the Lord and His plan and working our butts off. (We are shooting for 38 lessons this week. Pray for us!)

Heavenly Father answered one of our prayers in a really weird way through this -  we now are the proud owners of a full-time car!   Since we don't have to share with the English sisters, we now get it every day!    What a miracle and blessing!   We keep being blessed.

Another massive blessing of being in this companionship is that I am becoming a pretty decent translator  -  it's really testing my Spanish!  The Lord is truly blessing me with the gift of tongues.  I sincerely feel like what my setting apart told me, that my tongue "would be loosed" is truly coming true.   Am I fluent?  Not even close.   But I am so comfortable speaking Spanish now.  When we speak English I honestly miss Spanish.   And my English is garbage anyways now, it's all Spanglish.  It is such a blessing to be learning this language and having the opportunity to improve it so much more through translation.   I really feel that when you have to switch back and forth between the two it makes you learn it better, faster, and in a more functional way.   

Another huge blessing is that we all get along and that we are all learning so much from one another.   We each have special gifts and talents that we use to strengthen our lessons and each other.   Sister Beers is an incredible listener and asks such inspired questions!   Hermana Pocock has a gift to discern how people are feeling and thinking, and always addresses concerns so wisely.  And I love to be bold and loving and testify and invite to baptism every chance I can!   We feed off of each other so well and we are all learning to develop these other traits more too!   I am very grateful that Sister Beers will be with us at least until the end of the transfer!  (The end of this month.   I can't believe it is February!)

We had an amazing experience this week with a woman named Kathy. The sisters had dropped her off a Book of Mormon a few weeks ago,  (She was a member referral,) and so we wanted to go back with Sister Beers and follow up.  This woman is about fifty years old, has investigated every church, and was a preacher.  Well we asked if she had read anything and she said she was halfway through.  We thought she meant the Restoration packet. No...THIS WOMAN IS STARTING INTO 3 NEPHI. SAY WHAT?!?!?!   That just doesn't happen. We asked if she thought it was true and she said yes.   We asked if she thought Joseph Smith was a prophet and she said yes.   We asked if she thought the Church was true and she said yes.   We asked if she would be baptized and she said YES!   That's legitimately how it went! Easiest lesson ever!   We have been very blessed to set quite a few baptismal dates lately -the work is truly spreading here.   

I don't have favorites, but one of our dearest investigators is Jose.  He is 24 and the wisest, most spiritual person I have ever met.   He needs to be a missionary NOW.   I really could see him being a General Authority one day! He has been reading quite a bit in the Book of Mormon and came to church yesterday.   He and his sister have baptismal dates for the 22nd of this month.   I love them!

When people read the Book of Mormon, they progress.   It is the key to everything.   My goal in life is to never skip a day.   If we sincerely search it every day, I can promise that we will be faithful and continue to grow closer to our Heavenly Father each day.   You can't help but to read that book and feel something.   I cannot deny the testimony that I have of it.   I KNOW the Book of Mormon is true.   I KNOW Joseph Smith was a prophet of God.   I KNOW the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the restored gospel of Christ.   And I KNOW that Jesus Christ is my Savior and God is our loving Heavenly Father.   Everything builds and grows from the Book of Mormon.

I love you all!   Be good!   Read the BOM!

Love, Hermana Miller  :)