Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Hermana Miller: Week 5: The Final Countdowwwwnnnnn!!!


Holy smokes. GUYS. I can't believe it is my last week here in Paradise!!! Time is just flying. I can't believe a month of my mission is already come and gone. It actually makes me sad to think about it ending...being a missionary is THE LIFE. I LOVE it!!! Don't let anyone tell you that having a strict and busy schedule and so many rules is a bummer, because it is not at all. All that means is they did not have their heart in the right place. This is the way the Lord intends His children to work and live, and I am so grateful to be a part of it. I am so exhausted at the end of the day but it feels good to work my little tush off and know I am doing something productive and of eternal value. I go to sleep with a smile on my face, wake up with a smile on my face, and work with a smile on my face. A smile is just as important a part of missionary attire as the black tag is. I've become famous around the CCM for saying "Siempre bien!" whenever anyone asks me how I am. One of the ladies here-Sister Jones, calls me "Hermana Happy." But it is true, even when days are long and frustrating, it is difficult to be upset when you work for the best boss in the world-the Lord!

This week has been interesting-first of all, I have been sick as a dog. Not like a cold, but my lungs physically hurt to breathe and I keep coughing so bad and then I had such a terrible migraine for three days that the doctors in the clinic made me go home and sleep for a full day. (Which I fought because I wanted to teach!) It's been positively miserable, but everyone has been so great. Hermana Buhler took such good care of me and all the elders are so dear and sweet and when I am around they remind each other to be quiet so my head doesn't hurt. Hermana Buhler drew me a picture and got a bunch of people to sign it and I love it! Everyone always asks how I am doing, Elder Mendivil gave me a caramel apple sucker (I will be sick for one of those any day,) and when I came to dinner after the day they sent me to bed all my elders clapped and cheered for me in the middle of the Comedor. (And then apologized for being loud.) Love my district. I prayed last night to feel better so I could go to the temple today, and guess what? I feel basically perfect! Yes! Prayers are so great. Heavenly Father is so great.

Something great about this week is all the new responsibility I am getting! First of all, I have been the "district mom" for a long time now, but this week it is really bumping up a level. All the elders come and talk to me for comfort and advice when they have problems, and I have been sewing buttons back on suit coats, fixing pockets on shirts, and sewing ties back up all week. (I think they are breaking their ties on purpose because every tie I get I embroider RWH for Return with Honor on the back and they are all fascinated.) It was hilarious-the other night Elder Bown kept teasing Elder Mendivil and I hear Elder Mendivil yell "MOOOOOM! BOWN WON'T STOP TOUCHING ME!" And I turned around because I automatically knew they were talking to me. Haha, it is funny, but it is helping me to get even more excited to be a mom one day. But the big responsibility has been this-I now have taken over the 30-45 minute grammar lessons every day for my maestros. They asked me at the beginning of the week to teach one and from then on they want me to teach every single one. I have taken it very seriously, and I am learning that I love to teach. Maybe that can be a career path for me one day. Who knows!

Speaking of teaching-this has been a real turning point for how I approach teaching investigators or even just talking to my elders when they have problems or worries. I am learning to stop listening to myself and to listen strictly to the Spirit, and if I don't hear Him, I just open my mouth and trust the words to come...and they always do. All our lessons this week have been absolutely incredible. My favorite part about letting the Spirit teach is that I am edified and taught right along with my investigator! The other day Rodrigo was asking a bunch of really hard questions and doubting his faith (he struggles to believe in what he can't see,) when he asked "If our Heavenly Father supposedly loves us so much, why in the world would he ask us to do things we don't want to, or that may hurt?" I really didn't know what to say. All I could do was pray in my heart for the words that his soul needed to hear. I did not know what to say but I just started talking, and let me tell you-none of it came from me. I looked at him and said "Hermano Rodrigo, when you are in a building, at what part do you think you can see the most of your surroundings?" He told me the top. And then I asked him at what part of the building he felt he was in. He told me he thought he was probably below the floor. I told him that basically all of us are that way, and then I asked him where he thinks God would be, and he told me at the very top. I said "Exactly! That's why we need to listen to that counsel of our Heavenly Father. Sometimes the things he asks us may seem hard or strange, but he can see all the storms and trials and tests on our horizon that we can't, and because He loves us and wants us to have the faith and strength to withstand those when they come, He asks us to do things now to help us fortify ourselves or and be prepared." He started crying and just said how grateful he was and how he could feel how much I loved him and how much Heavenly Father loved him. It was such a powerful moment and I was just overwhelmed with gratitude, and the Spirit, and love for him. I never knew my heart could love so much as it does every day here. And as I walked out of that lesson and I was thinking, I kept getting this thought over and over "You were born to be a missionary. You are here at this exact moment for a reason. You needed to wait for a reason. I can see what you cannot-you are doing the right things. Every challenge and struggle you have had in your life has prepared you for this time. You were born to be a missionary." I started crying and as I am writing right now I am getting teary too. I know I am here for a reason. I am grateful that even though I have lived a far from perfect life, my Father in Heaven can still use me for good, and is using what were once my weaknesses to strengthen other people, help me relate to them, and help express how important these laws and commandments we are given are, and express the glory of the Atonement. While I don't recommend the path in life I took, I can honestly say that for me personally, I would not be anywhere near as grateful and close to my Savior as I am now if I had not been forced by my decisions to rely on Him. I have been reading the New Testament since I have been here (LOVE IT) and I read this week about how Saul turned from this man who was trying to destroy the church and torment the members into this incredibly strong apostle. I love that story because it shows that it is never too late for ANYONE who has done ANYTHING to turn to Christ, be saved, and become a powerful tool for good in His hands. The Atonement is incredible. USE IT. EVERY DAY. I am serious. Don't procrastinate using it-you will never regret it. Repenting is not hard or scary-sin is. As soon as we honestly desire to change and forsake our sins, our Heavenly Father forgets our mistakes (it is like they never happened,) and He moves on. The hard part is forgiving yourself! Repentance is not a sad or gloomy process-living in sin is. Repentance is full of love and joy. Take it from someone who has had to use it in her life more than most people. Do not delay repenting-you are only delaying feeling overwhelming love and compassion from God.

Okay, funnies time!

1.) This week Elder Whitehouse washed chapstick in with his tan pants...when he told us about it, he said it "Literally chapped my khakis." Hahahaha

2.) Elder Robinson in my district always has really pretty ugly ties, (he says that himself,) and Hermano Ramirez, our teacher, always makes fun of him. Well Ramirez spilled some stuff on his tie the other day and Robinson stands up and shout "QUIEN CORBATA ES FEA AHORA????" Which is really bad Spanish for "Whose tie is ugly now?" We all fell out of our chairs.

3.) Some elders tried to convince me into thinking they were from South Africa this week. (They probably picked the person who has watched the most documentaries on Africa out of the entire CCM...numbskulls.) But instead of telling them I knew right away that they were lying, for two days I acted like a ditzy Africa lover until they were miserable and felt so bad. (They live in the same dorm as some of my elders...who got a kick out of it when they would come home and feel awful.) Finally, when I decided it was time to turn it up and get them to tell me, I told them I wanted to talk to President Pratt and ask him to have them sing their South African National Anthem at a devotional. They cracked and told me and I just laughed and laughed and they felt really, really dumb, but now we are all friends.

4.) All the Latinos here think I am a native. Twice this week I got asked if my parents were latinos because of the way I speak. Mom, Dad, am I adopted?

5.) On Sunday an elder got up and told us "Estoy muy enojado para servir un mission." He should have said "Estoy muy agradecido..." which would have meant he was grateful, but instead he declared he was extremely angry to serve a mission. Lucky for him, only the Branch Presidency and I caught it. (Perks to being in a branch with a bunch of gringos I guess.)

6.) My district has taken to using Batman and Bane voices to say stupid things and make them funny...my favorites:

Batman:

-"If you light the Bat signal after 7:00 on a Tuesday night...please make sure it's a really good reason because that is when America's Next Top Model is on."

-"If you turn on the bat signal...you are probably wasting a lot of electricity which could be used for better purposes."

Bane:

-"I have come to purge Gotham of stale pastries."

-"If you feed me an old donut...that would be very painful. For you."

-"What will break first...your oven or your will?"

We also have been using those voices in class to bother our teachers. Priceless. Missionaries get so bored sometimes.

Well, gotta go! Love you all! Stay strong! The gospel is worth everything-both dying for it AND, most importantly, LIVING FOR IT!

Todo mi corazon,

Hermana Miller


PS- I saw a comet the other night...so cool.

PPS- I want to adopt all the Mexican dogs. Every time my district sees one, which is a lot, they yell "Miller! Puppy!!!!" and I die.

PPPS-I have made very good friends with one of the comedor workers...he is probably a few years older than me and I always ask how he is and every morning he brings the lactose free milk to my table for me. And then today he asked me to put his name on the prayer roll at the temple for him which I did with joy, and when I came back he had written me a little thank you note and gave me a thing of candies. Such a sweetie!

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